Here I was in this small little hospital with my beeji. I was barely 20 years old and trying to take care of my sick beeji who was admitted because she had fever. It was pitch dark and it must have been 2-2:30 at night and I was awake thinking about her.
I had always thought that beeji is very strong. She never falls sick- no fever, hypertension or diabetes and was very proud of her. And now she got fever which didn't leave her for 3 days at 83 years of age.
At this time when it was pitch dark, I could hear the sound of some patients snoring, distressing sounds of the very sick patients and their relatives and the chirping alarms and the nurses chatting. I could see my beeji's body shivering with fever which I brought to the notice of the nurse and she administered a medicine which I prayed should help her to sleep.
It was a very small hospital and there was no place for the relative to rest or sleep. I was sitting on the floor next to beeji holding her hand. After the injection, my beeji called me in a very frail shivering voice. I quickly pushed that little drowsiness or sleepiness that I felt to answer her. I thought she wanted something and I was shocked to listen to what she told me.
She said " Reena, will you take care of me when I get old ?" This was the question that I was asked by her for the 1000th time.
I thought " I am taking care of you beeji and you are already old!!" But I replied, "Yes, of course, beeji!!"
And then another shaky voice and trembling warm hands held my hands and said " Don't sit on the floor. I will sit down, you sleep on the bed. Your body needs rest"!!!
I couldn't stop crying and tears started flowing down my eyes.I was shocked how can someone love so much. She loved me so much. My voice was hoarse and I couldn't reply to her as I didn't want her to realize that I was crying.
She tried her best to get up with her weak and sick body but her body did not cooperate. She couldn't get up and asked me to help her to sit up. I tried telling her that it's ok and that I was fine sitting down on the floor but no, she did not listen.
I still remember sitting next to her on her bed and we both sat till she slept off on the bed and I gently came down again.
I never understood how can someone love me so much. She was discharged after 2 days.
I don't know if it was the medicine that helped or the fact that " we are there for you " and " you are loved" feeling that healed her. The question " Will you take care of me when I am old?" has been asked to me zillion times and the answer "Yes, of course!!" changed my personality. Beeji sensitized me towards her needs and her fears.
She taught me that "unconditional love" just flows all the time whether you are sick or healthy. But fear also stays and our presence - JUST THE PRESENCE is a balm that helps to take care of fears of our loved ones.
Her gesture of caring for me and being there for me " touched my soul" - a touch I still feel today and I thank her for crossing my life on this planet earth. I have learnt that it is just the physical presence and a small smile that can evaporate all the fears of anyone. You don't have to be a professional or a doctor- you just have to BE THERE..... and when you give, you receive so very much!!!
Grandparents are amazing!!!
They leave a strong mark on our personality - a mark which makes us more human !!!!
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