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I choose to be vulnerable....






On some days , I am so blank, so very restless, so very irritable ,frustrated , stressed, cribbing and complaining, seeing only the negative in everything , tossing and turning trying my best to dig in and get that little minuscule dose of "inner peace" within but in vain....
There are many many more days when I am amazing, perfect, organised , calm, grounded, blessed and full of gratitude!!! And on these days, the spring of "inner peace" flows incessantly...How I wish if this could be my "default" state but no, I fluctuate !!!
But I don't accept myself as being blank, restless, agitated , irritable and frustrated even if it is just sometimes ...
And then as the universe always sends signs, I am greeted by people who get the worst qualities out of me in the most beautiful ways.
And I hate it ,hate it to the core of my being because .... I HAVE NOT ACCEPTED THE DARK SIDE OF MYSELF !!! ..
They tell me things like
"I didn't expect this from you..what kind of a decision was this !!!."
"Oh! Your son missed his bus because of you... what kind of a mom you are!!"
"You couldn't even do this for you dad!!"
"I didn't know you cook so bad...your poor husband !!"
And the list is endless ....
The words will lose their power when I stop emotionally charging them by rejecting my imperfect (dark or shadow)side of me ...
So today, I take my power...
and stand here on this pedestal of "vulnerability" with arms outstretched, completely open all ready to embrace and accept every aspect of me which I have not accepted...
This is because I have realised that there is nothing called as being perfect on this planet. It is just an illusion. Striving to become better than what I was a second before is a journey which I would love to take rather than wanting to be perfect.
When I love myself COMPLETELY, only then I give myself the permission to embrace the dark side of others completely ....
So today, I choose to love myself ....
I choose to be vulnerable ....
I choose to be a warrior , a brave warrior by owning my strengths and my shadows !!!
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