Skip to main content

Love signature between mom and her child....






And the Diwali vacations come to an end and the school starts from Monday.

While I sit on my nice soft bed recovering and taking care of my stomach, my teeth dig into the sandwich which I made for myself. I am really trying to be gentle with my stomach and practicing a good amount of self-compassion, loving myself and taking care of my physical body which feels a little tender and fragile now. With each bite of the sandwich, I feel the juices flowing into my mouth, and I wander deep into my thoughts. I am contemplating whether I created good opportunities OF GROWTH for my son for his vacation.

He really was away from me but with his loved ones -his cousins, uncles, aunties, grandmoms, and grand-dad creating memories. He chose to and I supported him giving him the freedom to choose what he wants. I also support him if he makes wrong choices but making a decision is important!!

I still remember when he was going away with his grand-mom in the bus. When we went to drop him to the bus stop and he was in the car, the car seemed to be breathing, living and full of the beautiful light energy that filled the car. And just as this little one was out of the car, I gave him the departing last hug, a real tight one with a gentle kiss on his hair which smelled of apple shampoo. And then as he and my mom stepped on the steps of the bus, my heart was sinking and everything around seemed so much heavy and gloomy. I could suddenly smell the pollution from the air and the horns were at their loudest as I saw the green big bus disappear into the traffic.

Very sad and gloomy, I told myself that I have to give him opportunities to stay away from me and evolve and grow emotionally. I was very happy that he was going away and being brave and strong but I thought it was also an opportunity for me to grow emotionally.

I was trying to be brave and I put my foot back into the car, my first tear dropped on the seat. Oh goodness, whats happening to you Reena? - my inner being shouted while I was all confused and flowing with my emotions. I was pretending to be happy to my husband. I could very strongly feel the ghosts who had entered into the car and made the entire place so so shadowy and dark. I was literally choked by the tears who pleaded to come out of my eyes so that I could have the sacred bath of peace and relief. I wanted to sigh and tell myself that it is ok. I made a silent prayer to the almighty to stay with them for the rest of the journey and protect them.

With a very heavy heart, we came back home and even the home was so empty and was strongly sucking me into sadness while we were both together yet LONELY....

I realized that the invisible bonds that connect a parent to a child are very very strong. I got a phone call after around 4 hours that he was fine and reached safely.

Then, I could sense this little fellow crying trying to hide the tears just as I was doing in front of him. “Oh my God!! Am I teaching him to pretend to be happy and stop being vulnerable.” He was missing me and we tried using the sense of vision and hearing to substitute for the sense of touch to express love. I was clearly missing the hugs and the kisses as much as he was.

He wanted my love signature and I wanted him while we had others serving the same emotion. How beautiful and different is the energy frequency of each one’s love!!!

But then he was happy and enjoying with his cousins which was more important learning to be with everyone.I told myself that he misses me once in a while and most of the times, he is having fun like how I did with my cousins in my childhood.

And just as I finish my sandwich, I am a happy, proud and a satisfied mom who fought bravely with tears, sadness and loneliness and we both grew emotionally and still growing....

Happily growing and evolving as a mom....and we did extract enough juice out of the vacation which nourished me and my little man... YOHOOO....we are growing!!!

I love these feelings...
I love being a mom...


#Beingme.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I believe in angels...something good in everything I see......

Ever since I was a little girl, I remember asking the universe (Waheguru/God/Allah/Almighty) for signs for everything I did in my life..... The universe is very very systematic in which nothing happens just by accident or just by chance or coincidence. Everything is for a reason which is what I believe..... My relation with the universe has grown just the way I have grown. The signs that the universe sends are mysterious and I always marvel at the ways things are communicated by the source. So now, I have decided to shift my Andheri centre of Khushi to a new place. The day I went for a meeting, angels sent me signs that I was on the right track and divinely guided. Next, I decided to get the place done before we shift and then came a series of things that have left my mouth wide open every time they happened. In my first visit I was finalising the contractor to get the repairs work done for the flat and was a little worked up. And there I saw a white butt...
Post a Comment
Read more

Another Dusshera....same feelings!!!

Another Dusshera again.... Time to burn a Raavan once again!!! Here I was dressed in my light green color frock, 8 years old, jumping with a group of 10-15 friends. We were just jumping from one house to another. My aim was to cover as many neighbors houses as possible and to give the “sona” to everyone -the green gold( leaves of Apta tree). Not worried that my dress was all muddy, the body was sweaty, hair in a mess, smelling like a pig holding the green gold with dirty hands. But “looks” were not important,”feelings” were..... I remember holding just 3-4 leaves in my hand and worried about them. And in the time when we moved from one house to another, I would break every single leaf into 4-7 smaller pieces so that I could give it to everyone. And we all would say “Shubh Dusshera” and take blessings from elders. And while giving the small part of the apta leaf, a silent prayer would go into the universe asking for happiness and prosperity for the family. We were so i...
Post a Comment
Read more

You judge me...I judge you!!

Sometimes, I am a very judgemental person... Sometimes, my friends are very judgemental..about me... Sometimes, my relatives are very judgemental...about me But why I am thinking about all this... Because it HURTS when someone judges me and it hurts the others when I judge them...it gives emotional wounds and I really don’t want them or to even give them. So why do I do that? Why do others do that? Deep down, all that I want is that people should understand me and people want me to understand them. But somewhere, the default strategy is to spring back into being judgemental... Judgement cuts my self-esteem and self-confidence like a sharp knife. But this game of passing the blame goes on day in and day out for all the waking hours. Today morning my husband spoke to someone and he judged him, I gave him the “gyaan” of not being judgmental and understanding the perspective of the other. Also told him to see the complete picture before arriving at a conclusion. ...
Post a Comment
Read more