Skip to main content

Happy mother's day....

I was at the Nehru planetarium with my son (trying to be a good mom in my own eyes).
And then one mom with her two teenage daughters sits next to me. She is in her fifties, a little heavy for her height and seems like she has pain in both her knees. She is all sweaty and because the parapet on which we are sitting was too low, she could not balance and sat with a big thud. I saw her and smiled.(non-verbally we communicated that its ok and it is fine....)
Then came her first daughter who loved her to the core and started shouting.
“Is this the way you sit?
What if you had fallen down?
Don’t you know how to take care and sit slowly?”
And then before the mom could answer, the second daughter came in and scolded her even more loudly –
Is this how you sit?
She loves her mom immensely but does not know how to express the love and this time it is mixed with worry.
Believe me, the combination of love and worry is too dangerous. She goes on and on and on. And their mom goes deeper and deeper into the trenches of shame and guilt.
And then I am interrupted by my son because the show is about to start and we need to get inside the planetarium.
I was also feeling sad because, on many occasions, I have felt that I have more wisdom than my mom (who is an epitome of patience) and insulted her (unknowingly) because I want to care for her.
Somewhere today I realized that my angry words and tone do not convey my love and care for my mom.
Mom will always forgive me for all my stupid behaviors because she loves me more than I do.
And today these two teenage daughters have made me realize how deadly the combination of worry and love is.
And so today I decide to
Express love to my mom by UNDERSTANDING HER...
Express love to my mom by ALLOWING HER to be who she is.....
Allowing her to be who she is...BEING MINDFUL what I am communicating with her...
And allowing her to be who she is...her authentic self... no matter how it may seem to me...or to anyone else around us...
What matters is how she feels about doing what she wants to do...
And in my mom’s own words, every single time, I make a small or a big mistake, the answer and the response from her is
Koi gal nahi...
Koi nahi.. ( Its ok )
What if I also learn that its ok... and koi gal nahi...
Happy mother’s day...

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I believe in angels...something good in everything I see......

Ever since I was a little girl, I remember asking the universe (Waheguru/God/Allah/Almighty) for signs for everything I did in my life..... The universe is very very systematic in which nothing happens just by accident or just by chance or coincidence. Everything is for a reason which is what I believe..... My relation with the universe has grown just the way I have grown. The signs that the universe sends are mysterious and I always marvel at the ways things are communicated by the source. So now, I have decided to shift my Andheri centre of Khushi to a new place. The day I went for a meeting, angels sent me signs that I was on the right track and divinely guided. Next, I decided to get the place done before we shift and then came a series of things that have left my mouth wide open every time they happened. In my first visit I was finalising the contractor to get the repairs work done for the flat and was a little worked up. And there I saw a white butt...
Post a Comment
Read more

Another Dusshera....same feelings!!!

Another Dusshera again.... Time to burn a Raavan once again!!! Here I was dressed in my light green color frock, 8 years old, jumping with a group of 10-15 friends. We were just jumping from one house to another. My aim was to cover as many neighbors houses as possible and to give the “sona” to everyone -the green gold( leaves of Apta tree). Not worried that my dress was all muddy, the body was sweaty, hair in a mess, smelling like a pig holding the green gold with dirty hands. But “looks” were not important,”feelings” were..... I remember holding just 3-4 leaves in my hand and worried about them. And in the time when we moved from one house to another, I would break every single leaf into 4-7 smaller pieces so that I could give it to everyone. And we all would say “Shubh Dusshera” and take blessings from elders. And while giving the small part of the apta leaf, a silent prayer would go into the universe asking for happiness and prosperity for the family. We were so i...
Post a Comment
Read more

You judge me...I judge you!!

Sometimes, I am a very judgemental person... Sometimes, my friends are very judgemental..about me... Sometimes, my relatives are very judgemental...about me But why I am thinking about all this... Because it HURTS when someone judges me and it hurts the others when I judge them...it gives emotional wounds and I really don’t want them or to even give them. So why do I do that? Why do others do that? Deep down, all that I want is that people should understand me and people want me to understand them. But somewhere, the default strategy is to spring back into being judgemental... Judgement cuts my self-esteem and self-confidence like a sharp knife. But this game of passing the blame goes on day in and day out for all the waking hours. Today morning my husband spoke to someone and he judged him, I gave him the “gyaan” of not being judgmental and understanding the perspective of the other. Also told him to see the complete picture before arriving at a conclusion. ...
Post a Comment
Read more