Skip to main content

Happy mother's day....

I was at the Nehru planetarium with my son (trying to be a good mom in my own eyes).
And then one mom with her two teenage daughters sits next to me. She is in her fifties, a little heavy for her height and seems like she has pain in both her knees. She is all sweaty and because the parapet on which we are sitting was too low, she could not balance and sat with a big thud. I saw her and smiled.(non-verbally we communicated that its ok and it is fine....)
Then came her first daughter who loved her to the core and started shouting.
“Is this the way you sit?
What if you had fallen down?
Don’t you know how to take care and sit slowly?”
And then before the mom could answer, the second daughter came in and scolded her even more loudly –
Is this how you sit?
She loves her mom immensely but does not know how to express the love and this time it is mixed with worry.
Believe me, the combination of love and worry is too dangerous. She goes on and on and on. And their mom goes deeper and deeper into the trenches of shame and guilt.
And then I am interrupted by my son because the show is about to start and we need to get inside the planetarium.
I was also feeling sad because, on many occasions, I have felt that I have more wisdom than my mom (who is an epitome of patience) and insulted her (unknowingly) because I want to care for her.
Somewhere today I realized that my angry words and tone do not convey my love and care for my mom.
Mom will always forgive me for all my stupid behaviors because she loves me more than I do.
And today these two teenage daughters have made me realize how deadly the combination of worry and love is.
And so today I decide to
Express love to my mom by UNDERSTANDING HER...
Express love to my mom by ALLOWING HER to be who she is.....
Allowing her to be who she is...BEING MINDFUL what I am communicating with her...
And allowing her to be who she is...her authentic self... no matter how it may seem to me...or to anyone else around us...
What matters is how she feels about doing what she wants to do...
And in my mom’s own words, every single time, I make a small or a big mistake, the answer and the response from her is
Koi gal nahi...
Koi nahi.. ( Its ok )
What if I also learn that its ok... and koi gal nahi...
Happy mother’s day...

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I believe in angels...something good in everything I see......

Ever since I was a little girl, I remember asking the universe (Waheguru/God/Allah/Almighty) for signs for everything I did in my life..... The universe is very very systematic in which nothing happens just by accident or just by chance or coincidence. Everything is for a reason which is what I believe..... My relation with the universe has grown just the way I have grown. The signs that the universe sends are mysterious and I always marvel at the ways things are communicated by the source. So now, I have decided to shift my Andheri centre of Khushi to a new place. The day I went for a meeting, angels sent me signs that I was on the right track and divinely guided. Next, I decided to get the place done before we shift and then came a series of things that have left my mouth wide open every time they happened. In my first visit I was finalising the contractor to get the repairs work done for the flat and was a little worked up. And there I saw a white butt...
Post a Comment
Read more

Grieving.... or learning and growing ???

As I start writing these lines, I can listen to the wind gushing and the leaves rustling, sometimes scaring me and sometimes nourishing my soul. It is a very wet day today and there is water logging everywhere and also Ganpati Visarjan. These days take me back to the times when I and my sister were very little. My dad didn’t work on the days that there was Visarjan. I was hardly 10 years old and my sister barely 5. There we were near the beach at Seven Bunglows shivering to the wind that was slapping us while the rain lashed us till we were drenched along with mom and dad. And these memories keep coming back. Seeing one ganpati after the other, ready for Visarjan. I used to be mesmerized by the artist’s ability to carve such a beautiful form that the eyes of Ganpati would speak. I still remember those days when my dad also took me on his cycle’s back seat. Oh!!! How much I miss (no I think I remember) those days. There is this emotional pain which I fe...
Post a Comment
Read more

Shudh desi feelings......

You know what sometimes I love to cry when I see sad movies... I initially used to think that I am so funny... But I really loved crying and felt light after that....so light.... and I love this quality about me...the tears are real... 100% pure....Shudh desi tears... I laugh a lot too when I watch movies... Too much...still remember the days when I and my sister would laugh on the stupidest of the joke and my dad used to shout at us... “Does anyone else laugh so loudly around here in our neighborhood?” We would look at each other, become quiet for a millisecond and be back to even louder laughter....while dad would look at us in frustration and his eyes would go towards our mom pleading her to control this laughing monster who was inside us. And we still laugh even today while mine and her husband exchange glance with each other when the laughing gas is in the room.... we laugh till we start crying!!! It is such a wonderful exercise !!! It feels like running...
Post a Comment
Read more