One parent came to me and she was really unhappy that her son is having behavior problems. The child (8-year-old) had a diagnosis of Autism and communicates by using just a few words.
You know what I have this amazing sense to feel people by their energies. When a family enters my consultation room, sometimes I feel pins all over my body and I know that the family is really really stressed.
And then there are others who visit me, who are passing through the same experience as the others but they carry with them a blanket of peace and calm and I am also sucked into it.
There are others who come who comb my “being” with vibrations of deep insights revealing strong, intense and raw truths about life.
So, I love to nurture this sense in me and love to sense people and their energies. So, when the door opens, my energy antennae start sensing – is it heavy, light or sorted or confused or just peace...
Coming back to this parent who was very unhappy with her son, she told me that he keeps coming to her and says the word “smile” and keeps on repeating till she says the word or actually smiles. She wanted me to help her with this behavior.
When we traced back to the source of the behavior, it was arising out of the fear that mom will get angry and so he kept saying “smile” to ensure that mom was happy with him even if he did something inappropriate. In this case, it was the mom’s reaction that was affecting the child. When she was more stressed, the word “smile” would come even more.
We worked on the behavior but what surprised me was how beautifully the child was like a barometer to the mom’s stress. The days she was calmer, the word “smile” did not come but the days she was stressed, he would say the word many times. And thus, it was not a lot of work on the child but on the parents.
And then, the next day, another child with the same behavior- the word used was “Are you happy?”
And that repeated with the third child too. This time, the words were “Happy, Happy, happy?”
And you know what, the energy that I sense with all of these kids was FEAR- as soon as they say the words above, my heart would feel heavy and sink. They all just wanted their parents to feel happy when they failed to regulate their behaviors. All of these kids had the same energy signature to their words. They were all trying to say “I am sorry, I messed up. I am sorry but I do not know how to repair my behavior and I am stuck with the negative emotions unable to come out of them, please help me.”
Somedays I feel that parenting is like an exam. The exam for which we really prepared to the best of our capacity but when the question paper appeared, we went blank. Everything is there in the mind but nothing comes out on paper”. So even when parents know what to do and how to deal with the behavior, they go blank and REACT instead of UNDERSTANDING their child.
Phewww...these little ones who enter my consultation room (and the one in my house) are teaching me the biggest lessons of my life(something that I can never learn in any college or from any book).... and I love them for doing that!!!