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Showing posts from October, 2017


A new day, a new week and a very good health.... what else can I ask for? Yayyyyyy........................feeling blessed!! Somewhere I read a statement, can’t remember the words exactly but what it meant was If it was your last day on this planet, would you be doing what you are doing right now? (Yes, yes because I love to express and I am doing that ...bang on!!) And if you know it is your last day on this planet, what would you regret not doing?(Oh!! I love to dance....I need to dance every day...just express myself through words and dance....) Another statement that came across (you know I believe in signs completely) is “How will you make your life better than what it is now? What are the things that need to change in your life now?” After a lovely night of recharging, I awaken.... while still choosing to get up after another five minutes, the recorder of my mind starts with the same questions... If it was your last day on this planet, would you

Love signature between mom and her child....

And the Diwali vacations come to an end and the school starts from Monday. While I sit on my nice soft bed recovering and taking care of my stomach, my teeth dig into the sandwich which I made for myself. I am really trying to be gentle with my stomach and practicing a good amount of self-compassion, loving myself and taking care of my physical body which feels a little tender and fragile now. With each bite of the sandwich, I feel the juices flowing into my mouth, and I wander deep into my thoughts. I am contemplating whether I created good opportunities OF GROWTH for my son for his vacation. He really was away from me but with his loved ones -his cousins, uncles, aunties, grandmoms, and grand-dad creating memories. He chose to and I supported him giving him the freedom to choose what he wants. I also support him if he makes wrong choices but making a decision is important!! I still remember when he was going away with his grand-mom in the bus. When we went

After effects of Diwali....

After effects of Diwali--- Okay, so here is an interesting dialogue inside me. Somewhat funny but equally serious Brain- (calmly) Oh, Diwali is coming. Reena, you need to be careful not to over-eat like how you do always when you go for a vacation and especially when it is Diwali. And then you are always down with food-poisoning!!! Sensible Reena (very coolly)- Oh!! Don’t worry, I am a balanced person and I never indulge in over-eating. Brain (mix of pride and suspicion) - Great!! Stay on your word Mom-in-law (excited)- So here are the amazing things that I have made. Keeping it on your dining table. Eat well and happy Diwali... Impulsive Reena (really excited) Oh my God....Oh my God... can’t wait to eat the yummy chakli, besan laddoo, and the poha chiwda. God bless my mom in law... oh there are shankarpallis also.... yum ....yum... Brain (somewhat angry)- Reena, are you forgetting something...????? Nose (very excited)- Reena the smell of the chakli

Bhau beej...Sister-brother love!!!

So yesterday there was bhau beej and there was big gathering at my in-laws place. It was lots of fun but the scene that has frozen in my mind’s eye really needs to be expressed. My father in law (77 years old) went to his sister who is 80 years. And then it was time to celebrate Bhaubeej. Just as we reached their house, aatya as I call her, came in her lovely green sari with a blue border. She was trying to see and recognise who has come and then her face and body language changed when she saw her brother. As she walked towards us, she was losing her balance a bit but her happiness knew no bounds. I was so sure that she will come to her brother. But she greeted all of us and acknowledged our presence. Lots of talks with all of us but when she spoke to her brother- the voice, the body language, the emotions and the feelings were different. She spoke to my father in law just as a mom would speak to her small baby. There was so much love flowing that even I c

Happy birthday to me....

So here’s another birthday…. The day when I started my journey on this planet Gaia…. A new day and a new beginning reminding me of my purpose on this planet As earth merrily dances “garba” around the sun….for the 38th time now since I was born!!! From a “beta” to “didi” to “aunty” …. Happy birthday to me… From school to college to following my passion Happy birthday to me… From a daughter to a wife to a mom… Happy birthday to me… From being a daddy’s princess to the queen of my prince… Happy birthday to me….. From eating the “kheer” made by my loving mom to eating the cake made by cake shop!!! Happy birthday to me…. From listening to songs on “chayageet” and “chitrahaar” to cassette to floppy to online music on the net… Happy birthday to me…. From watching movies on black and white TV to sometimes color TV to a movie screen in theatres… Happy birthday to me…. From playing in the lap of Mother Nature to playing computer games to mobile games…. Happy birthday to me…. From mee

Kojagiri Poornima...moonlight party!!

Fashion changes every day...and so does the moon!! When I was little, there was this “Banjara” dress which was in fashion. My parents bought this white and red “Banjara” dress which had a red “Ghagra” and white blouse to it. It had a lot of mirror work on it. This used to be my favorite outfit when I was little -around 10 years old!!! I used to carry the chunari on my head and keep spinning watching my “ghagra” move with me.... And then there was a night of celebrations- “the moonlight party”. My friends and elder friends (we were the “chillar” party) were told that we will have a potluck party. Then, we will play Antakshari, dumb charades and also share jokes. It sounded like a lot of fun to me and I pleaded with my mom that she allows me to go to this party. This party was to be held under the moonlight in the big courtyard that the houses collectively had. We were planning to stay awake till 12 and then have the nectar “the Amrit”. I told my mom about the “the Amrit” and a

Shudh desi feelings......

You know what sometimes I love to cry when I see sad movies... I initially used to think that I am so funny... But I really loved crying and felt light after light.... and I love this quality about me...the tears are real... 100% pure....Shudh desi tears... I laugh a lot too when I watch movies... Too much...still remember the days when I and my sister would laugh on the stupidest of the joke and my dad used to shout at us... “Does anyone else laugh so loudly around here in our neighborhood?” We would look at each other, become quiet for a millisecond and be back to even louder laughter....while dad would look at us in frustration and his eyes would go towards our mom pleading her to control this laughing monster who was inside us. And we still laugh even today while mine and her husband exchange glance with each other when the laughing gas is in the room.... we laugh till we start crying!!! It is such a wonderful exercise !!! It feels like running

Grieving.... or learning and growing ???

As I start writing these lines, I can listen to the wind gushing and the leaves rustling, sometimes scaring me and sometimes nourishing my soul. It is a very wet day today and there is water logging everywhere and also Ganpati Visarjan. These days take me back to the times when I and my sister were very little. My dad didn’t work on the days that there was Visarjan. I was hardly 10 years old and my sister barely 5. There we were near the beach at Seven Bunglows shivering to the wind that was slapping us while the rain lashed us till we were drenched along with mom and dad. And these memories keep coming back. Seeing one ganpati after the other, ready for Visarjan. I used to be mesmerized by the artist’s ability to carve such a beautiful form that the eyes of Ganpati would speak. I still remember those days when my dad also took me on his cycle’s back seat. Oh!!! How much I miss (no I think I remember) those days. There is this emotional pain which I fe

I believe in angels...something good in everything I see......

Ever since I was a little girl, I remember asking the universe (Waheguru/God/Allah/Almighty) for signs for everything I did in my life..... The universe is very very systematic in which nothing happens just by accident or just by chance or coincidence. Everything is for a reason which is what I believe..... My relation with the universe has grown just the way I have grown. The signs that the universe sends are mysterious and I always marvel at the ways things are communicated by the source. So now, I have decided to shift my Andheri centre of Khushi to a new place. The day I went for a meeting, angels sent me signs that I was on the right track and divinely guided. Next, I decided to get the place done before we shift and then came a series of things that have left my mouth wide open every time they happened. In my first visit I was finalising the contractor to get the repairs work done for the flat and was a little worked up. And there I saw a white butt

Another Dusshera....same feelings!!!

Another Dusshera again.... Time to burn a Raavan once again!!! Here I was dressed in my light green color frock, 8 years old, jumping with a group of 10-15 friends. We were just jumping from one house to another. My aim was to cover as many neighbors houses as possible and to give the “sona” to everyone -the green gold( leaves of Apta tree). Not worried that my dress was all muddy, the body was sweaty, hair in a mess, smelling like a pig holding the green gold with dirty hands. But “looks” were not important,”feelings” were..... I remember holding just 3-4 leaves in my hand and worried about them. And in the time when we moved from one house to another, I would break every single leaf into 4-7 smaller pieces so that I could give it to everyone. And we all would say “Shubh Dusshera” and take blessings from elders. And while giving the small part of the apta leaf, a silent prayer would go into the universe asking for happiness and prosperity for the family. We were so i

Human Be-ing or Human Do-ing....

You know when I was very little, I was made to believe by people around me that we were just middle class or so called poor people. I grew up thinking that everyone gets everything in life except me . No one made me believe that but still that's how I grew up. Finally reached my twenties and completed my studies still feeling that "We were poor and everyone gets what they want but I don't. Others are fortunate and I am not"!!! And now when I look back at those years, I see them being so so so rich. I feel that I was bathing in all the richness of the world. Completely soaked and marinated in the richness of unconditional love by my parents, relatives and grandma(my beeji). I don't even know how to measure the love that I received - in kilos, litres, or may be light years .... don't know but it was infinite. It is like mom asking a small child " how much do you love me ?" And the child stretches his arms as far as possible and says &q

I choose to be vulnerable....

On some days , I am so blank, so very restless, so very irritable ,frustrated , stressed, cribbing and complaining, seeing only the negative in everything , tossing and turning trying my best to dig in and get that little minuscule dose of "inner peace" within but in vain.... There are many many more days when I am amazing, perfect, organised , calm, grounded, blessed and full of gratitude!!! And on these days, the spring of "inner peace" flows incessantly...How I wish if t his could be my "default" state but no, I fluctuate !!! But I don't accept myself as being blank, restless, agitated , irritable and frustrated even if it is just sometimes ... And then as the universe always sends signs, I am greeted by people who get the worst qualities out of me in the most beautiful ways. And I hate it ,hate it to the core of my being because .... I HAVE NOT ACCEPTED THE DARK SIDE OF MYSELF !!! .. They tell me things like "I didn't

You judge me...I judge you!!

Sometimes, I am a very judgemental person... Sometimes, my friends are very judgemental..about me... Sometimes, my relatives are very judgemental...about me But why I am thinking about all this... Because it HURTS when someone judges me and it hurts the others when I judge gives emotional wounds and I really don’t want them or to even give them. So why do I do that? Why do others do that? Deep down, all that I want is that people should understand me and people want me to understand them. But somewhere, the default strategy is to spring back into being judgemental... Judgement cuts my self-esteem and self-confidence like a sharp knife. But this game of passing the blame goes on day in and day out for all the waking hours. Today morning my husband spoke to someone and he judged him, I gave him the “gyaan” of not being judgmental and understanding the perspective of the other. Also told him to see the complete picture before arriving at a conclusion.