thecoolreena

I wait for this signal to turn green on my scooter. It's nice and scorching. I am thinking whether it was a good idea to get my scooter and then I am interrupted by two men who navigate their way across us-the autos, cars, scooters, and bikes.They seem to be in a hurry to cross the road. And in that hurry, the shoulder of the man hits against my mirror. I was concerned about him and his shoulder and also for my mirror. Before I could allow my next thought to pop up, this man  turns behind and tries to stare at me through my sunglasses and the scarf that covered my face. He was soooooooooo angry. Anyways, he walked away and I started popping thoughts in my mind again about what exactly did that stare mean. He was the one who was in a hurry and before I could think he stared again in anger and frowned as much as he could. His stare conveyed to me that I was responsible for the pain that he was feeling on his shoulder. And then, I was waiting there getting into a justificatio...

As, I see my son diving into the swimming pool, I hear a sound next to me. I was shaken up. It was the sound of the four year old child slapped on her face by her dad. This child was sitting in between her parents. I really wanted to ignore what I heard but by reflex my head turned towards the sound. My eyes meet the mothers eyes who I thought would feel apologetic about what just happened. But she smiled at me and I tried stopping myself from giving her the most cruellest o f my looks. (I told myself to stop being judgemental) While this little girl started crying, her mom started laughing and told her daughter- How was the beating? Was it tasty? Told you to listen to daddy else Daddy gets angry!!! Don’t you understand.... Start behaving like a girl and listen ( I was zapped ....) I wanted to get up and slap this six feet heavily built dad who thought it was wise to hit this little delicate doll but I stopped myself !!! Was the dad trying to teach that being a gir...

You know what since childhood, I was taught praise in front of everyone and give feedback only in person secretly. And I follow on to this very strictly. There was another thing that was taught and that was to respect the elders and the relatives. But before that respect yourself first. Do not let anyone disrespect you. And again I follow that in my life. Sometimes, when elders give you feedback in front of people when you are not at fault, it hurts. But then what to do in such a situation? Some elders do it because when they talk, they are not mindful of the power of their words which are like sharp arrows and they pierce straight into the heart. And ouch...it hurts... In such a situation, do you stand up and protect your self-respect or allow them to disrespect you in front of many others. One such situation happened and I was in a conflict whether to stand up for myself or to respect the other person. If I stand up for myself, then I am disrespecting the other person....

I was at the Nehru planetarium with my son (trying to be a good mom in my own eyes). And then one mom with her two teenage daughters sits next to me. She is in her fifties, a little heavy for her height and seems like she has pain in both her knees. She is all sweaty and because the parapet on which we are sitting was too low, she could not balance and sat with a big thud. I saw her and smiled.(non-verbally we communicated that its ok and it is fine....) Then came her first  daughter who loved her to the core and started shouting. “Is this the way you sit? What if you had fallen down? Don’t you know how to take care and sit slowly?” And then before the mom could answer, the second daughter came in and scolded her even more loudly – Is this how you sit? She loves her mom immensely but does not know how to express the love and this time it is mixed with worry. Believe me, the combination of love and worry is too dangerous. She goes on and on and on. And their mom goes deeper...

I had my first grey hair when I was just 23. And then just as a reflex, I plucked it away. I obviously didn’t want the grays to come to me. Obviously not... And then I didn't see them for a while till the time when I became around 30 when the greys started coming over and decided to stay on my scalp. (ooooooh.....it is very early....not soooooooooooooooo soon..........................) I didn't want these visitors, come on yaar... no one likes change... or was it about the hi dden meaning beneath the greys???? What is it that was making me uncomfortable? And then, once while I was finishing my therapy session with a child, I overheard a parent talking to another... “You know what I am completely grey, I just color them...IIt'snot something to be proud of........” she told to the other parent. First message for me that greys are terrible!!! The media and the advertisements played a major role in those days and added to the belief that you cannot afford to show y...

You know what, there are a few things in this world which are amazing and cannot be replaced by any other experience.  Experience of walking bare feet on the dried leaves and the grass covered with dew Experience of letting the raindrops kiss me while I am drenched and the wind hugging me... Experience of hugging my loved ones and immersing myself into the hug and forgetting the world... Experience of allowing the feet to dig deep into the sand while the waves pass away after  washing them... Experience of being thrown out by the waves on the beach and sometimes somersaulting under the waves... Experience of feeling the heaviness in the body while relaxing... Experience of sitting under a shady banana plant and holding its bark which feels so cold on a rough dry afternoon Experience of listening to the birds chirping away Experience of seeing the beautiful orange sunrise amongst the numerous cottony clouds Experience of seeing the full moon in the dark sky while clouds cover ...

Do you relate to these words?? My child hardly shares anything with me... He just answers whatever that is asked and then there is a long pause... We hardly share any experiences...as in we do not connect...our life is more about giving him what he wants during his day to day routine activities..seems transactional...dry without any emotions... He was not like this in the past... As time passed by, he is becoming more and more withdrawn and quiet... I am getting to know him through social media- his Facebook posts and sometimes by checking his snapchat and WhatsApp messages...or sometimes by reading his diaries or notes... It is very dangerous as I don't know anything about my child...sometimes I am shocked to read what he writes about himself or rather what he feels about himself We stay in the same house but like strangers... I want to help my child but somehow there are so many layers between us which have increased as time has passed by... Can you please help us? ...