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Love signature between mom and her child....






And the Diwali vacations come to an end and the school starts from Monday.

While I sit on my nice soft bed recovering and taking care of my stomach, my teeth dig into the sandwich which I made for myself. I am really trying to be gentle with my stomach and practicing a good amount of self-compassion, loving myself and taking care of my physical body which feels a little tender and fragile now. With each bite of the sandwich, I feel the juices flowing into my mouth, and I wander deep into my thoughts. I am contemplating whether I created good opportunities OF GROWTH for my son for his vacation.

He really was away from me but with his loved ones -his cousins, uncles, aunties, grandmoms, and grand-dad creating memories. He chose to and I supported him giving him the freedom to choose what he wants. I also support him if he makes wrong choices but making a decision is important!!

I still remember when he was going away with his grand-mom in the bus. When we went to drop him to the bus stop and he was in the car, the car seemed to be breathing, living and full of the beautiful light energy that filled the car. And just as this little one was out of the car, I gave him the departing last hug, a real tight one with a gentle kiss on his hair which smelled of apple shampoo. And then as he and my mom stepped on the steps of the bus, my heart was sinking and everything around seemed so much heavy and gloomy. I could suddenly smell the pollution from the air and the horns were at their loudest as I saw the green big bus disappear into the traffic.

Very sad and gloomy, I told myself that I have to give him opportunities to stay away from me and evolve and grow emotionally. I was very happy that he was going away and being brave and strong but I thought it was also an opportunity for me to grow emotionally.

I was trying to be brave and I put my foot back into the car, my first tear dropped on the seat. Oh goodness, whats happening to you Reena? - my inner being shouted while I was all confused and flowing with my emotions. I was pretending to be happy to my husband. I could very strongly feel the ghosts who had entered into the car and made the entire place so so shadowy and dark. I was literally choked by the tears who pleaded to come out of my eyes so that I could have the sacred bath of peace and relief. I wanted to sigh and tell myself that it is ok. I made a silent prayer to the almighty to stay with them for the rest of the journey and protect them.

With a very heavy heart, we came back home and even the home was so empty and was strongly sucking me into sadness while we were both together yet LONELY....

I realized that the invisible bonds that connect a parent to a child are very very strong. I got a phone call after around 4 hours that he was fine and reached safely.

Then, I could sense this little fellow crying trying to hide the tears just as I was doing in front of him. “Oh my God!! Am I teaching him to pretend to be happy and stop being vulnerable.” He was missing me and we tried using the sense of vision and hearing to substitute for the sense of touch to express love. I was clearly missing the hugs and the kisses as much as he was.

He wanted my love signature and I wanted him while we had others serving the same emotion. How beautiful and different is the energy frequency of each one’s love!!!

But then he was happy and enjoying with his cousins which was more important learning to be with everyone.I told myself that he misses me once in a while and most of the times, he is having fun like how I did with my cousins in my childhood.

And just as I finish my sandwich, I am a happy, proud and a satisfied mom who fought bravely with tears, sadness and loneliness and we both grew emotionally and still growing....

Happily growing and evolving as a mom....and we did extract enough juice out of the vacation which nourished me and my little man... YOHOOO....we are growing!!!

I love these feelings...
I love being a mom...


#Beingme.

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